Walt: use in punctuation correctly and write in first person.
One Saturday afternoon Mum and I and my brother and my cousins went to the Riccarton Market. It was so sunny I could have worn a t-shirt as there were no rain clouds. When we got there, there was a butterfly knife and a rubber band gun. I could smell yummy bakery food. For lunch I had an American hotdog boy they were good for my tum tum. Then after we had lunch we jumped in the van and went home. It started to rain.
